The Vehicles of My Life

I've never owned a brand new vehicle and never plan on it. Used is just fine for me, and besides, it just has to be comfortable and run well, right? 

My first memory of a car of any sort was probably my Grandpa's blue station wagon. Don't ask me what kind or year it was, I have no idea. It always smelled of his pipe and I can remember us cruising down dirt roads in it with him and visiting ghost towns. Stories were told, and I know me and my cousin were a little creeped out; although in awe of how much Grandpa knew. How did he find these towns? Yes, we got stuck a few times. It's okay though, that's what makes it all so interesting. I must have only been about 5 or so on these trips, as details are seriously lacking. 

The second memory was time spent in my parents green van. This van was definitely awesome. It had shag carpet on the walls, a bed in the back (really just foam) with a cool curtain, fridge, and 2 or 3 oddly placed seats in back. I loved that van, even though I was pretty young: under 10 years old. I remember us going to the circus and the elephants peeing on us and then me and my sister had baton fights in the back. I won a particular fight when hers snapped in half. Needless to say, many tears were shed. I also remember us on our way to a neighbouring town and the muffler fell off. Dad put it in the van and told us not to touch it. We obeyed of course. I'm not sure what happened to that van, but I always wish we could have kept it as a playhouse.

One thing I know about my family is that we drive our cars until they fall apart. My first car was no exception. It was actually the family car for quite some time until I moved out at which time it became mine. However I drove the awesome 1989 Pontiac 6000LE throughout the last 2 years of highschool. The first time I finally got my license I drove it to the lake, went to park, and lightly hit a post right in front of all my friends. This car's tape deck was broken a long time ago, and the radio would cut in and out, which could only be remedied by a smash to the dash. Music did sound quite good pounding out of the factory speakers though. In that lovely photo, it was right after I ran out of gas up north and when I went back to it, it had been smashed; adventures, eh? I drove this car to all pit parties, picked up many friends in it, and when I first started driving it, gas was only 53 cents a litre. I had it until the fall of 2004, a whole year after graduation. In the end, the ceiling fabric was falling in, and it needed tie rod ends, so I said my goodbyes to my entire highschool days and sold it for $250 bucks. 

The next car I owned was one I bought myself. My lovely 1993 Sunbird SE. Yes, that desk did fit in there. I honestly picked it out because it was blue and "looked cool". It was a 2 door, had tinted windows, and a CD player; this was all quite amazing to me. Oh and it had air conditioning, even command start. This was the car of my dreams. This car never quite worked 100 percent. It would stop for no reason on major intersections and when it was cold. Command start only worked half the time, but I loved this car. This car made me feel so cool, it was unreal. Time was spent blaring Ashlee Simpson: Autobiography, and Keith Urban: Be Here. As well as Linkin Park: Hybrid Theory, Christina Aguilera: Stripped. Yeah, I know, kind of a strange combination, but that's what I had. I cannot play any songs of those albums and not think of that car. I bought it while I was working at Subway. In the end I needed something reliable and so I sold it in the summer of 2009 for $1200. The command start worked just fine in the summer.

I soon realized 2 doors are impractical when you have more than one friend, and perhaps a nephew with a carseat. It was time for bigger and better things. It's listed as a station wagon but I call it a hatch; the love of my life the 2003 Toyota Matrix. Seriously? That's the car I picked? YES, you want to know why. Well who can resist the appeal of cup holders everywhere, and by everywhere, I mean that neither of  my previous vehicles even had them. Command start was soon installed and all was well in my life. All, meaning that I could officially go on road trips, road trips to anywhere, and so a trip to Fargo, North Dakota was planned. It was brilliant. Good on gas, suitcases fit easily, and was insanely comfortable on that 12 hour drive. This is my current car and the cds it reminds me of so far are Stephen Kellogg and the Sixers: The Bear, Hanson: Shout It Out, Jason Reeves: The Magnificent Adventures of Heartache, Green River Ordinance: The Morning Passengers, and currently Boots Factor: Part Or Execution. I hope to drive this car until it falls apart, and hopefully that is many years from now. I should probably wash it more often. 

Wherever my road leads, and right now in Saskatchewan, driving is a big part of life, I will need a car, and there will be music, and sometimes even friends to share these adventures with me. There really is nothing like it. I could blare music and sing along all day, if only gas wasn't so expensive and I had somewhere to go. 

Neutral Ground: I Don't Hate Animals

Contrary to popular belief I do not hate animals, I really don't. There are people who are animal lovers, animal haters, and the in-between. I am an in between-er. In between as in, I don't mind them, but I don't plan on having one of my own. I had lady bugs in bubble gum tape containers, and I even lived with this snake for a few years. I only held him once and very briefly. I also had a fish, a beta fish named fishy. Oh and we had snap turtles, mine was Michaelangelo. They were stinky and didn't live long. I don't feel I missed out on anything not having a cat or dog or some pet you snuggle with. I don't feel the need to have one either, and so the story of me and animals begins. 


When I was little I wanted a kitty. This kitty to be exact. I'm the girl with the super blonde hair. My sister and I were staying at my Aunty's house one summer and across the street there were kittens being given away. We fell in love and Mom said no. Seriously though, we were convinced we almost had her convinced to say yes. What did we know?


My other Aunty had a dog. A cute little puppy aptly named Nipper. I was scared of him, but somehow managed to have this picture taken in the split second before he started freaking out. I loved that dress, and yes those were some of my mom's famous hair pieces. 


What was next? There was a dog at my dad's boss's place. I didn't mind him so much, and I had to get a picture taken in my new favourite hat! Can't go wrong with denim right? I think I might still have that hat. There was also a neighbour's dog at my friends place. I know you want that shirt and no, there isn't a University of Lake Lenore. 


There were horses at my mom's friends house. My sister and I would go there after school and feed them and pet them. Sheba and Spike. Here I am in my favourite sweater with hearts all over it: me and Spike. Yeah, I know, not the cutest kid, I was all cheeks even then. I did love that horse though. They weren't ridden very much, but we did get to try to ride them, and it turned out Spike was scary. Very scary actually, and I got down rather quickly off him. 


For my tenth birthday my other Aunty (yes, I have lots of auntys okay?) decided that since I had taken an interest in horses, I might perhaps like to ride one. Well here I am, a little scared, but a smile, none the less. I'm not sure if I started crying here, or when we actually started riding. All I know is that when we began to trot, it was all over. I wanted off that horse NOW. So I threw a tantrum and got my way. It was a nice idea Aunty, so sorry. A few years later that same Aunty had a horse named Pepper I believe, and I did ride him a bit. Let me tell you, it was still scary though. 


My Aunty had a cabin at the lake and she had a dog named Poke, but I don't have any pictures with him, or her, or whatever the dog was. I'm terrible at keeping it all straight. What I do have is a picture of this magnificent chipmunk at that cabin. His name is Butnip. We named him that because we once told a friend that he lived in the outhouse and would jump up and bite your butt at night. Needless to say, that friend really tried not to use that outhouse as much as possible. 


I still think kittens are pretty adorable, so when my neighbour across the hall had them, I played with them a bit. This one here was so cute! I just don't like cats? Not as cute, sorry. 


My oldest sister decided to break the string of non pets in the family and got a dog. He was a shitzu and I rather liked Hershey. Probably the only dog I can say I really liked. He is no longer with us, but was a good dog when he was. My sister also has another dog named Kisses, my nephew has the best names. Hershey and I at my parents. Yeah, I know, I didn't keep that hair long, but why didn't I keep that jacket?


When I was about 7 or so, I was bit in the leg by a chihuahua. That is not why I'm not crazy about dogs, though. I think I just don't get the appeal of pets? I have my music while I walk, you have your pets. While I will tolerate your pet, I will not be mean to it, nor will I reach down and play with it. I am neutral. 


Nowadays if I see a beautiful animal, I stop and take a picture. I still love the look and feel and smell of horses. They are lovely. Perhaps someday, I will actually ride one? Oh wait, I'm a wimp. 

The Lost Ipod: Part Two

It was a beautiful sunny day yesterday, although a bit too chilly for me to seriously consider going for a walk. I was invited by a friend to catch a movie. Me being the theatre fanatic I am and don't always have the cash to go, I jumped at the opportunity. 


I grabbed my other bag I use for movie going. You know, the one that's really a massive purse so you can perhaps bring your own drink. I put all the essentials in there: my iced passion tea lemonade, hand lotion, wallet, pen, pad of paper, phone, camera, and ipod. I don't know why I brought the ipod in the first place. I wasn't driving and usually when someone else drives the music is in their hands anyway. I like to think I put it in there because I can't stand to be apart from it. It could have been out of habit. 


We got to the theatre to watch Yogi Bear in 3D. You know, I'm kind of tiring of this 3D thing. Your cheap theatre movie price has gone up $3 and you have no control, you have to pay. Anyway, we decided to go to the dollar store where caramel corn was purchased. I carefully tucked it into my bag and away we went. The movie was good. 


When I got home, I realized just how much of a mess my kitchen really was. I cleaned out my bag, and noticed quite a bit of crumbs at the bottom. I dumped them in the garbage and took the garbage out to the big bin outside. I later went out that night and again, I wasn't driving anywhere and had already transferred all my goodies to my regular purse. 


This morning I woke up and was happily uploading pictures from last nights shenanigans, when I noticed it was really nice out for once. I could finally go for a walk. I got ready to go and grabbed my phone, my headphones, my keys, and I tried to find my ipod. Where could it be? I checked both purses, nothing. I checked both jackets, nothing. Yes, I did check between all the cushions this time, nothing. 


My mom called and we chatted for a bit, and then it hit me. I knew exactly where my ipod was: the garbage bin. She told me I had better go get it now before it got buried too deep. I went outside with my shiny red broom because I knew it would be at the very bottom. Luckily, no one had put more garbage in there and the bin was practically empty. I climbed up on the side and the broom pulled up the small white bag with no problems. I wonder what people were thinking when they saw me? This girl they see go in the apartment building everyday was suddenly looking like someone who goes digging in the trash everyday. My skills surprised me at this, it was all too easy. 


I was going to squish the bag and just feel for it. It would have been a terrible idea seeing as food would have probably gotten stuck in the connector spot. I opened the bag and began to peer around. I was starting to wish I had not dumped my bag in the kitchen garbage. I had to pick my way around the raw hamburger meat, the egg shells, the onion peels, the orange peels, and then I caught a shiny glimpse of blue at the very bottom. There was my ipod. 


This all sounds so silly. How many times can I lose my ipod? I really don't know. Unfortunately, I feel like there might be a part three at some point. I'll keep it as safe as I can. I make no promises though. I am at peace for the time being, as only one can feel after having a very dear possession back in their arms. I am going for my walk, happily listening to the music blasting in my ears. 

Rider Pride: FOOTBALL

Being from Saskatchewan it is hard to ignore the fact that we have a football team. It is indeed our pride and joy and I think most of us feel a sense of "Rider Pride" whether we actually watch the games or not. Green is our colour and I PROUDLY wear my jersey on game day, no matter where I am headed. 


I attended my first football game July 28, 2001. Went with a boyfriend and some friends. Got there the end of the second quarter and then it started to rain and thunder and lightning. We decided it was time to leave. It was a good choice because it was a terrible storm that followed. At this point I was just excited to go somewhere and really knew nothing about the game. 


The second game was June 14, 2002. We decided to go for a year end school trip. I come from a class of 12 boys and 2 girls, so this was an excellent decision. During school time the boys cut watermelons in half and we ate most of it. Once it was picked clean they wore them on their head for the game. It is a common occurrence these days to be a "melon head" and there are even actual plastic watermelons you can buy. I wanted to show some spirit too, so I coloured my hair green with marker. Why I have no pictures of this is beyond me. We even ended up on the news. The seats were really good, I think at the 42 yard line. My dad was one of the drivers. Thank goodness he drove because he then proceeded to tell me all about how the game actually worked. I finally started to understand football. 


I must have decided I really liked this whole experience, as I attended 2 more games that summer. I know we won one because I remember there was a line up for whoppers at Burger King. Free whoppers on the back of the ticket. It was a lovely day, and of course my friend got beer spilled all over him. This is typical at a Rider Game. One was in the end zone, and I believe we lost. There wasn't much to see from that angle anyway. 


Watching the football game wasn't something I remembered growing up, except perhaps when we won the Grey Cup back in 1989. There was a big party at my uncles house and as a four year old, the most important part was that everyone was so happy and I was being spun around and around. I do remember my dad watching it all the time, but I never paid much attention.


Fast forward to 2008. My sister and her husband are really into this. They are having parties every weekend to watch the game. I decided to get in on this. Yes, I had to be a pain and ask a zillion questions to understand anything. I now too watch every game with them that I can. Although they have changed, as there are babies now involved. They are nice get togethers, still include a few whiskeys and beers, and snacks are a must. Oh and you CANNOT talk during the game. That is do NOT speak of anything unrelated to the game itself. Commercials, although short, are fair game. 


Being a rider fan is pretty common in my family. Rider gear is a common gift for all ages. You might get something like this and this. It is appropriate attire while waiting for a baby to be born, as well as a gift like this at the baby shower. Sometimes someone will even go a little further and give you a gift such as this or this. It's especially important to dress your baby up on game day. You will probably see whole families dressed up on days such as these, friends as well. I'm also pretty positive that you have at least SOME kind of Rider memorabilia in your household


I'm sure you all have family reunions every summer that includes watching the game. Everyone probably also wears rider attire while cooking, playing horseshoes, singing, drinking beer, playing golf and slowpitch. It's also quite a good idea for a new person to wear their jersey when first meeting my family. Also be prepared if someone might like to "borrow" an especially excellent piece of clothing. 


Only in Saskatchewan is Rider clothing considered a part of your dress up wardrobe. What should I wear for Easter? For a birthday? Even thanksgiving is not off limits. Yes, we you can even get license plates now to represent. 


These game days just bring people closer together. Gives you something to look forward too all season. The off season is full of people randomly wearing their rider clothing, as it is always a sure topic starter. All in all, whether we win or lose the Rider Pride is going strong. I am proud to be a part of it. SEA OF GREEN! LET'S GO RIDERS! No, we are not crazy. Well, I do still wear my dad's 1989 Rider sweater :)


For more real information go to www.riderville.com

Top 5 Concerts

July 14, 1999: Went to The Moffatts concert with Jessica at the Saskatoon Exhibition. Cost: $5.00. Concert: 8pm-10pm. Opened with Crazy. My first concert. Bought the Moffatts CD: Chapter 1: A New Beginning. I LOVE THE MOFFATTS.

That was how I carefully chronicled my first concert. Honestly, I didn't even like them until I saw them live. Perhaps if I hadn't heard Girl Of My Dreams, I wouldn't have agreed to see them. Secretly I was a little upset they were like Hanson, and I didn't want to like them. This opened up my just turned 14 self to the concert world and decided right then and there that concerts are what it's really all about as a music lover. It's what makes you love or not love a musician. It takes you on a whole other level as a fan.

I went about writing down every detail for every concert throughout high-school very diligently. I made a cute little scrapbook with receipts from cds I bought (even the bag they came in), ticket stubs, setlists, picks, newspaper reviews, a snap bracelet, and of course autographs and pictures (negatives as well). It was in one of those photo albums you had to pull back the pages, so old school.

January 10, 2000: Our Lady Peace with Stereophonics opening for them. We had nosebleed seats, but since it was my first show in a big arena, well big for me, it was quite an experience.

July 14, 2000: PSYKOBLAST. No I'm not kidding! I had to go, I really did, it had been exactly a year since I had seen The Moffatts. Plus the other artists included Christina Aguilera, SoulDecision, Mytown, and McMaster & James. I had a bloodcurdling scream at the time, 15 year olds, eh?

More concerts followed, Serial Joe (x2), Clarknova, Jet Set Satellite. I could list all of them, but seriously, do you want to know them all? I might miss one or two and that would be disastrous. So I'll just mention my faves now.

February 3, 2001: The Moffatts with Wide Mouth Mason = BRILLIANT. This was a moment I will never forget. Sweet Home Alabama was expertly played as the final song with both bands coming together to jam to rip out this classic song. 

May 4, 2001: Matchbox Twenty with Lifehouse. Rob Thomas was smoking on stage, and a lovely solo piano version of 3am was played.

July 15, 2001: O-Town with Wave. Amy and I actually drove to Regina to see this concert. We were big fans of Making The Band, and I got a sweet T-shirt. The show was good, but we got lost trying to get out of Regina. Not gonna lie, I STILL don't like Regina and kind of avoid it.

March 12, 2002: Amanda Marshall with Jordy Birch. I need to mention this show because we were 4th row and NO ONE was standing up for Jordy, poor guy. My sister and I took pity, along with 2 other girls near us. We stood and danced. As it turned out, 5 years later, one of those girls became one of my best friends.

February 12, 2003: Keith Urban opens for Carolyn Dawn Johnson. I know right? Seems a little backwards, and I have seen Keith since, but this is still my very favourite performance of his.

I went on to see Hilary Duff (x3), Mariana's Trench (x6), Three Days Grace (x3), Theory of a Deadman (x3), Nickelback, Pearl Jam, Buckcherry, Default (x3), Velvet Revolver, Saliva, and yes even Backstreet Boys (thanks Kerry). Aerosmith and ACDC were supposed to be more epic than they were. For one thing: I can't remember much of Aerosmith, due to free drinks (thanks Mike), and I feel Angus Young's solo was much too long, and "Who Made Who" was left out. Plus that show was in Regina, enough said. Please don't hurt me for not being too excited about these two shows.

September 28, 2005: Collective Soul at Sask Place. I decided I LOVE this band. Ed Roland is a GOD. Some of Compliment was sung by the crowd, as well as big parts of Run, and Better Now. I felt connected, and completely drawn in. I have seen them two more times and was equally impressed each time.

July 7, 2009: Green Day. I was randomly invited last minute. GREAT decision to go, was even better than I figured it would be. Incredible fan interaction. These guys are really talented.

Other faves include Matthew Good, Green River Ordinance, Justin Nozuka (where I met one of my good friends), Wideawake, Jonny Lang, Augustana. You could argue that these bands deserve to be in my top 5, they are not, but they are in my top 10.

And now we come to the good stuff. Thanks for sticking with me thus far.

TOP 5 GREATEST CONCERTS I HAVE EVER ATTENDED

September 7, 2002: John Prine at Centennial Auditorium in Saskatoon. This the ONLY show my entire immediate family attended together. I grew up listening to my dad play him on guitar. We are all major fans of Mr. Prine, and this show will hold a special place in my heart forever.

September 12, 2008: Hanson in Calgary. It was at a college and it was acoustic. I was front row on Taylor's side and just got so caught up and lost in it. I feel this show deserves an honorable mention: December 2, 2007: My first out of province show. My first flight. My first time in Toronto. My first time meeting them. This was a big deal. I had liked them for 10 years by this point. The show was electric and had so much energy. Perhaps my crush on Taylor only got worse. Oh and of course on The Rock Boat IX on Lido in January of 2009: longest Hanson show ever.

October 29, 2010: Josh Ritter at Broadway Theatre in Saskatoon. I am sometimes behind on checking out musicians. An American friend of mine told me I HAD to see this guy, and actually sent me a ticket. I went early for front row and fell in love. I felt I was a part of the music, and Josh's charm sets him apart. This venue is absolutely fantastic, acoustics were unreal, and it smelled like popcorn.

December 28, 2009: Kyle Riabko at The Refinery in Saskatoon. I attended the show the night before as well. Just Kyle and his guitar. This guy is FULL of charisma, incredibly talented, and it all felt so short. The venue was meant for this: small room, amazing acoustics. If you ever get the chance to see him live, DO IT.

November 27, 2010: Stephen Kellogg and the Sixers at The Bowery Ballroom in New York City. I cried, I smiled, I felt my heart turn inside out, and I felt happiness. Plus it was eve of SK's birthday so they played right til midnight. There is no band with greater passion than SK6ERS.  I know what you're thinking: REALLY? What about The Rock Boat? Let me tell you about it. TRB has moments, moments like: Hearts In Pain, See Yourself, Sweetest Goodbye, Goose's dance on TRB IX. The pyramid, Father's Day, In Front Of The World, solo SK performances, You Win on TRB X, and many more. November 17, 2009: Fargo? YES, incredibly intimate show: Milwaukee and Such A Way, A (With Love) really stand out. May 21, 2008: they open for George Thorogood and the Destroyers. This is my first time seeing them, and believe me, I don't think you can understand this band until you have seen them live. I FELL HARD for them. Piano Man, SK with a kazu, My Old Man, and it's the only time I have seen them with just 3 members. I was mesmerized and upon meeting them after, (I actually didn't even know what they looked like before this show (besides seeing Boots as Bruiser in a Trevor Jackson video)) I was definitely hooked. And just maybe that's when I decided that Boots is "really good looking".

I am deeply moved by these amazing musicians and the people they are. I can only thank them, and I hope through my music I can in someway touch my audience as well.

The 9th Street House

I once lived for four months in a rather beautifully redone 1915 house. It was in a small city I didn't mind growing up close to, but was unsure if I really wanted to live there. This was a trial I reminded myself, temporary. 

The basement wasn't really finished, having a sort of floor and walls set up to deter water if water should somehow get in. Storage was what it was used for. The main floor was all open with 2 tiny bedrooms on one side and a bathroom in between them. The ceiling had once been an attic, but half had been opened up to allow the illusion of a much larger space. The other half was a loft. That loft I claimed as mine. There was a pullout ladder which led up to it. The ladder was sturdy and narrow. I carefully put my sewing machine up there, workout equipment, and my beloved guitar. The acoustics were magnificent. 

I got a part time job down the street, and so during my days off I had the place completely to myself. I read a lot. More than I had read in a long time. I often got lost in books for hours at a time, usually until daylight faded. Being it was winter, daylight was gone by five or so.

Around two o’clock one afternoon I heard a rustling sound, it sounded like someone shuffling through papers. I was completely alone, reading on the couch. I thought at first it was maybe me, my hands on the huge Stephen R. Donaldson book, turning pages furiously, thinking it had gotten to me. I stopped reading and lay completely still. There it was again, shuffle, shuffle, looking for something. It was definitely coming from behind me. I nervously sat up and looked over the couch. Silence. My heart thumping, I set back to reading, and then I heard a different kind of rustling. This time I knew it was our four foot, two inch round rosy corn snake, moving around in its tank. I gazed at the snake and managed a small smile and then went back to reading once again. Shuffle, shuffle.  I sat straight up, and looked at the snake, it was up and looked like it was listening as well. I got up and turned on some music and tried to forget about it. 

The house was always cold, in that it was cold while I was alone in it. I would constantly be cranking the heat up to 76F and it wouldn’t climb higher than 71 when I looked at it later. My then boyfriend didn’t think it was all that cold, after all we were just getting used to living in a house rather than a top floor apartment. While he was gone though, I often had to have a blanket on me, and wore bunnyhugs (hoodies) constantly.  

A few days later I was alone up in my loft when pure inspiration struck. The time for writing a new song had come. Excitedly, I scribbled down the lyrics I had in my head and picked up my guitar. Sitting cross-legged on my mat placed on the laminate flooring, I started to play. The sounds were lovely, and I was really feeling it. Stop and start, that’s how it goes while creating music. I was really into playing when I heard them. Footsteps. 

Crisp clear footsteps walking with shoes on. Footsteps downstairs.  Footsteps starting in the kitchen and making their way over to the living room and directly below the loft. What I felt was instant. I knew I wasn’t alone. I called down, “Honey, are you home early?” No answer. I knew damn well he wasn’t, you could hear the front door open from anywhere in the house.  The footsteps stopped, and I started playing again. Then they started again and I started freaking out a bit.

I imagined that pullout ladder slowly closing and me being trapped up there.  Trapped for this spirit to do with me as it pleased. The moment passed and strangely enough I realized I didn’t feel threatened. I had been alone a few times before by then, and it hadn’t yet hurt me. I got up and looked straight down over the railing to the main floor eight feet below. I saw nothing. Curious, I glanced over at the snake. It appeared to be listening as well yet again. I called down “I know you are here, I won’t upset you if you don’t upset me.”

There continued to be a presence in the house, although I’m not sure if anyone else felt it. I like to believe we just accepted each other after that little confrontation. I left for reasons not related to the haunting. I decided this small city life wasn’t for me, that Saskatoon was really where I belonged. Where I feel at home is here, although I do love to travel. Traveling is how you keep the blood pumping, the stories coming.

Scouting The Marr Residence

I was a little hesitant walking up to the oldest building in Saskatoon still on it's original location. I had been there once before in 2005 on a sunny beautiful summer day to support a charity book sale. This building is an important part of our Saskatoon heritage and there is a lovely sign which sums up why. There is also another reason why people visit this building: it's haunted. 

Broadcast in season 2 of "Creepy Canada", it is reported that there are ghosts pretty much on every level. Children's laughter can be heard upstairs, on the main floor there is a man by his writing desk, and in the basement is a man who is supposedly a woman hater.

When I first visited in 2005 I felt a little weirded out. I was allowed to go on the back enclosed porch and it was as cold as can be. You can no longer go out there, and definitely not in the basement. I remember not wanting to be there very long, so I picked out a couple of books to buy and left quickly.

Today's experience was a little different. My sister and I went knowing a little more about the place, and genuinely interested in the heritage. I actually brought my camera this time, and decided to over photograph everything. Taking shots like this and this, pointless really. And here I am looking dreadful and like nothing at all is about to happen (and yes, that is a Hanson bag you see). 

We strolled on up to 326 11th Street East, and entered the lovely veranda. Nothing creepy there. We took our time though, taking in little details, perhaps we were a bit reluctant to go inside. Upon going in, this is what we saw. Yeah, again nothing creepy. Unsure of where to go next we headed up those steep stairs and encountered two staircases. Torn between which way to go we took the left one, and upon seeing a closed door at the end, we entered the bedroom on the left instead. 

It was huge really, although we then learned that 4 children slept in that one bed. The other side had a sewing machine, and a creepy cradle, Clothing was shown as well. I thought I was imagining things, but after being in that room for a few minutes I couldn't deny it: I felt strange. I felt a little dizzy and light headed and felt a definite presence. I then voiced these feelings to my sister who affirmed she felt the same way. When we visited the room a second time I took a picture just outside of the door. You can use your imagination as to what that light on the bottom right of the picture showed. Could it be light from the window? I'm doubtful only because the door was completely open and there was no filtering of any light that would have hit that spot. I decided to take a few more pics in that room and this is what I came up with. Two spots in different locations (side/lower right), pictures taken one right after the other (these are a bit fainter). This whole orb thing is not something everyone believes in, but I do think it holds some weight in some situations.

That room still felt creepy so we visited an office, which was uneventful and then went to the other large bedroom. I felt absolutely nothing in there and tried to get artsy with a photo. It took a bit to get it to focus for some odd reason. Well the light was magnificent and all kinds of orbs appeared, the one on the left that has lines through it is a reflection off a part of my camera, and some are obviously sun spots, but you be the judge. Another pic right after. I later went back into the room to satisfy a bit more curiosity and this is the picture I took.

We headed downstairs to check out the rest of the place, the sun was shining lovely into this large dining area. Nothing strange here. Took a left to enter another room, perhaps this is a den, with a fireplace and a writing desk. Yes, this is the writing desk. I have to admit, I felt a weird sensation through my body when I stood right in front of it, same as what I felt upstairs. It wasn't as strong but it was definitely there. For some reason I felt compelled to take a picture of the window, and took another one just for good measure. You see what I see right? Very faint, but it's there in one picture (side right) and gone the next.

After that we headed to the kitchen where sugar coated jujubes of some sort and Fudgeios were had. I felt absolutely nothing, but it was obvious there were three rooms we weren't allowed to go in that branched off of there. One in particular led to the basement I'm sure. Not too interested in the rather large kitchen for its day, we went outside. This is what we saw. I know right? Nothing except the back of the house.

I wouldn't say we were disappointed. Our ghost hunt officially being over, we decided to try our luck on Roll Up The Rim at Tim Hortons. I won a coffee. My sister was so completely pre-occupied with sharing ghost stories of her own, she forgot to roll up that rim. Better luck next time.

Photography School

I got my first SLR camera in the summer of 2003. It was film and I was about to embark on my first and last bit of college. Only a 5 month course. This is isn't about how enlightening I found this course. This is about how I got through it.

The camera was a Nikon F80, and I have to say that I really do love film still. Film lends another dimension to a photograph somehow. Black and white was what we were about to study, and that excited me as well. It got me thinking about my mom and dad's photos when they were little. It was always fun to use my imagination as to what colour their clothes were, and what kind of day it was outside. 

Due to an unfortunate little accident, I ended up not having a car for a lot of this photography course. I lived with my older sister and she lived nowhere near school. I took the bus. To most people this is not all that unusual.  The course ran from October to March. What you need to understand is that this was that winter when it was FREEZING quite often. We're talking anywhere between -25C to -59C. I had to walk to the bus stop and wait for what seemed like an eternity, and then when I got downtown, I had to walk another 3 blocks to the school. I personally have never been a fan of winter.

I want to say that I was Miss Popular, and reinvented myself and all that kind of stuff, but I really wasn't, and didn't. People were nice to me of course, but I felt a little out of place. I was just a small town girl in a big city and was not knowledgeable on the technical side of photography. Most of my classmates were older and had been experimenting with their own cameras for quite awhile. I tried to do a good job, but let's just say it was not my best work. 

The darkroom was a place that smelled of chemicals, that gave me headaches, and yet also excited me. It was a long and laborious process, but worth it. What I couldn't understand was why everyone took so long to do their work in there? I suppose that I'm just fast at working, not the type to labor over something for hours. Do your work and move on.

We went on shoots as a class and I have to say that I wimped out at one of them. It took place at a farm, and me, having a sensitive nose, didn't do so well. My stomach heaved a sigh of relief, I did not enter any barns. I just shot what I could outside. I definitely got harassed for that ever after. We had a little display of our hard work at the end of the course. I was proud of myself, but a little in awe of some of my really talented classmates.

I found photography hard and more complicated than I ever thought it would be. I was starting to wish I had back my old little see through $30 purple camera. I just pressed the button and there the picture was. Then I realized how much I could manipulate a photo to make it look more interesting and that's what kept me going. I could get creative with it.

What still lingers with me: Red lights remind me of darkrooms. I can still smell the chemicals at random times, the strong smell stinging my nostrils. I sometimes hear the film moving over in my head after I take a picture. Cold walks to and from that bus stop. Visiting my friend after school at her hairdressing school. My after school part time job at the photo counter. Oh and the hot chocolate. If I smell really good hot chocolate I think of school. We had the best hot chocolate machine there, and after coming in from that awful cold, it was the perfect solution. 

check out what photography I'm doing now at Struck Photo

Basement Hide And Seek

Growing up, me and my sister (older by 2 years) spent a lot of time playing together. We even liked each other I believe, although she liked to be a little bossy, and me being the youngest of 3 girls, I was a little whiny. This went on like this til I was about 10 and and she 12. Then we kind of got our own friends, and of course were a tad bit too cool for each other. 

We used to be intrigued by our not so big basement. It is mostly dirt with crumbling cement walls. A few wooden shelves line the walls. It has a massive freezer in it, in which we all believe had to be put in before the house was actually finished. No one is quite sure when our house was built, but it has been improved upon many times by my Dad and sometimes with help from other family members. I lived in that house the entire time from when I was born up until I was 18, and moved away. My parents still live there.

Our basement was, when I think of it, a big deal in our house. It was not a basement for playing in, it was used for storage. Food storage mostly. I would always be the one who got sent down there to grab the potatoes out of the huge potato bin I remember my Dad building when it became clear we'd be harvesting a big pile of potatoes from our garden every year. I also got sent for our homemade beet pickles, chokecherry jelly, and dill pickles. Any meat that needed to be brought up was usually my responsibility, and the ice cream as well: let's NOT forget the ice cream. It wasn't something we had all the time, a treat really, mostly to go with the apple pie my mom made. 

Speaking of ice cream, this is really where my basement adventures with my sister began. We would sneak down there with a spoon and just grab a bit here and there. The ice cream was always rock hard, but it was enough to satisfy our appetites. I later learned that this was a trick my Mom and her sisters used to do at their house as well. 

One night we decided we wanted to sleep in the basement. Why did we want to do this? The ICE CREAM, that's why. My Mom entertained this idea but was pretty skeptical we would last the night. The only light in the basement had to be turned on from the upstairs and it was on the other side of the door. I remember being scared that the door was going to be closed while we were asleep. There had never been any reason to close it before, and seeing as there were no windows, it was pitch black. 

My sister and I carefully laid our blankets out on the hard cement floor, snuck some spoons, and said goodnight to our parents. We had a flashlight I believe. We probably giggled for a good bit, and when we thought we couldn't hear mom and dad creaking around above us, we turned to the freezer and opened it. The freezer had a light in it, and so we easily helped ourselves to a bit of ice cream. 

I don't really remember what all exactly happened that night, but I was scared. I was really scared, and I'm pretty sure my sister was too. After a few hours our courage failed us, and we gathered up our blankets and traipsed upstairs to our shared bedroom. I don't think Mom gave us a hard time about it, but definitely had a knowing smile on her face. Needless to say, we never attempted a slumber party down there again. 

I used to have this recurring dream about that basement as well. It is a bright sunny day out, middle of summer, and I can even hear birds chirping. I am about 5 and my sister 7. We go inside for a drink after playing outside and we decide to play hide and seek inside. 

My mom is hanging clothes on the line outside, and humming away a tune. My sister decides I can hide first. She goes back outside by my mom so she doesn't peek at where I am going. The windows are open and I can hear her counting slowly, deliberately. I hear mom join in with her and I am delighted to play this game. I decide I'm going to be REALLY sneaky and hide in the basement, which is not where either of us would usually hide. I left the door open and the light on, just for a hint. 

I giggle to myself as I look for a spot, thinking she will NEVER find me. I see a big white door with a steel handle on it beside the freezer. This door does not exist in real life. I open it and seeing it is completely dark, I go inside and close it. After declaring "ready or not here I come" I hear my sister coming down the stairs, she knows I'm down here somewhere. I hear her calling "Natalie...Natalieeee, where are you?" I giggle and I look around this strange room I'm in as my eyes are now adjusted, but I see nothing, I feel dirt in my sandals, and touching the walls, they are dirt as well. 

I start to panic a bit and I call out, "I'm in here, I'm in here" but my sister can't hear me. I can't open the door, and I'm getting a little cold in my t-shirt and shorts. I can now hear my mom getting a little worried and she calls out as well. They are both on the other side of the door, but they don't open it. I remember wondering if they even could see it, after all I had only just discovered it myself. I start crying and they keep calling. 

This is when I usually wake up. I have had this dream a number of times while living there in my teenage years and a few times while living with my sister later on in life. It always disturbs me and no, there really is no door there, nor an inkling of any door having been there.

On another note, my sister has a recurring dream about the basement as well. It involves there being a present from our Grandpa (my mom's dad) down stairs. She never opens it.

Truthfully I haven't been in that basement for a few years. Even though I've been moved out for 7.5 years it still creeps me out. I think my sister hasn't wanted to go down there for a long time, and this is why I was given the task of fetching things. Next time I'm back to visit my parents, I think I might just take a little trip to the basement to get some ice cream.

Top 25 Songs I Was Listening To In 2010 In My iTunes

I lost my iPod at the end of November, for that whole week; it was awful. Then I got a new laptop, reinstalled iTunes, found my iPod, and GASP: the song count had to START OVER. This ruined all my plans of what I was listening to in 2010. Really this list is "what was I listening to since December 9, 2010"

25. Milwaukee - Stephen Kellogg and the Sixers   
    - "But you don't succeed by giving up, that's one thing I know"
24. Say The Least - The Bridges
    - I love singing along to this song, just gets stuck in my head
23. Come On Get Higher - Matt Nathanson
    - This song hits me every time. "I miss the sound of your voice, the loudest thing in my head"
22. State Lines - Matt Hires
    - On repeat the other day. Try it, you'll see why. "And your voice is like a song in my ears"
21. Right Right Now - Boots Factor
    - "They're not walking in your shoes, it's not their life to choose"
20. When Will You Be Mine - Boots Factor
    - Even when you don't quite "have" someone, you're afraid you're going to lose what you do have with them
19. Boston - Augustana
    - "You don't know me, you don't wear my chains"
18. Meet You There - Augustana
    - it just comes together as a brilliant song
17. Father's Day - Stephen Kellogg and the Sixers
    - the passion in this song is unreal "When you're growing up without me, I will always be with you"
16. See Yourself - Stephen Kellogg and the Sixers
    - It really did change the way I saw myself. "See yourself, like somebody that loves you"
15. Gasoline - Jason Reeves
    - "She's figured out just where it hurts, she wants to give it to me" "She is covering my heart with Gasoline"
14. The Good Life - Idle Sons
    - The band is no longer together. "You let me fall all the way, while the good life takes you away"
13. Captured - The Bridges
    - of course I fell in love, hearing vocals like this is rare these days
12. Starting To Blur (acoustic) - Brian Factor (aka Boots Factor)
    - EP "Dead Language Demos" this was #1 all year. "The worst part is, I'm forgetting what you look like"
11. All My Loving - The Beatles
    - Ah, just got back into listening to them, good stuff
10. In My Life - The Beatles
    - My sister and her husband always listened to this song. "In my life, I love you more"
9. More Like Me - Trevor Jackson
    - "I wish that you could be more like me" yes, this is why I have a shirt that has that on it
8. Anthem Of Our Discovery - Stephen Kellogg and the Sixers
    - "I got this picture of beauty, she is essence and she is art"
7. The Bear - Stephen Kellogg and the Sixers
    - great take on how life just IS "Sometimes you get the bear, sometimes the bear gets you"
6. Marianne - Matt Wertz
    - "Now I got my mind back on the open air and you on highway one"
5. Wild Canyons - The Bridges
    - I was highly addicted to this whole EP "Our Monster"
4. Nice N Easy - The Bridges
    - has an old school feel that just takes you back, let the song just flow through you
3. Laura Lee - Trevor Jackson
    - Off the highly anticipated "The Greenpoint Demos" it's silly, yet sad
2. Misfits - The Bridges
    - You want to groove? this is IT
1. Tail of the Drunken Cat and Jamaican Escort - Trevor Jackson
    - It's one of those songs you kinda get lost in. Hit repeat with your bottle of whiskey and be with your thoughts.

Some other great songs I was listening to a lot in 2010

Kathleen – Josh Ritter
Sing Your Heart Out (live acoustic) – The Trews
I Still Ain’t Over You – Augustana
Where The West Wind Blows – Green River Ordinance
Empty Days – Augustana
4th Street Moon – Stephen Kellogg and the Sixers
I Will – The Beatles
Let You Go – Boots Factor
I Don’t Want To Be – Gavin DeGraw
Thinkin’ About Something - Hanson
Just Friends – Jason Reeves
Red Light – Jonny Lang
Dancing Shoes -  Green River Ordinance
You I Wind Land And Sea – Justin Nozuka
Gone – Matt Nathanson
Once We Belonged - Boots Factor 
Honey, Let Me Sing You A Song – Matt Hires
You Win – Stephen Kellogg and the Sixers
Change of Time – Josh Ritter
Me Myself and I – Hanson
New Hampshire – Jason Reevs
Golden Train – Justin Nozuka
Fire – Augustana
Hearts In Pain – Stephen Kellogg and the Sixers
Inasmuch – Brian Factor (Boots)
Undertow – Green River Ordinance
Good Man – Josh Ritter
Heartbreak World – Matt Nathanson
Rescue – Seabird
More Time – Needtobreathe
Running Around In My Dreams – Tyrone Wells
Even If It Breaks Your Heart – Will Hoge
Fall Apart Again – Brandi Carlile
Souvenirs – John Prine

This list could go on and on, but those are what stuck with me a lot this year. It’s been long and hard, and I thank music for getting me through it. The good and bad times, music has always been there for me. Thank you musicians, and my amazing friends for introducing me to over half of these.